Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
