If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
