Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
