Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
