If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
