i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
