I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
