My cat gives me a boner
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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