evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
