i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
