How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
