my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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