My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
