Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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