i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
