How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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