i just wanna soil my oats bro
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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