I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize