got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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