Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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