my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
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I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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