it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
