Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
