you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
