I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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