We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
