i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize