I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
