is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.