it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
