i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
