I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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