i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
