i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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