Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You are the jesus of drinking
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize