oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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