i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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