SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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