guys are not supposed to queef...right?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
