how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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