...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i think im in europe. pls send help
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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