i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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