Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
