I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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