I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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