So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I could fuck to npr.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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