i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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