Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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