There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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