Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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