Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
