he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize