we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
