a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
