i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You were trust falling into bushes
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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