I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
