what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
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Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
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And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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