Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
