can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize