So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
