There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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