Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize