you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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