People with herpes should wear stickers.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
