At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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